perasaan x terucap

bismillah.
assalamualaikum.

rindu !!!!!

rindu sgt pada kawan2.

kawan2 maahad, kwn2 tamhidi..

smua rindu..

x mampu nk ucap dkat fb. :) cakap dkat sini, biarlah xde org bce po..x kesah.. tp rase nak tulis sgt... 

so, i wrote here. mohon agar blog kesayangan tidak jeles ea ^^

yes, rindu sgt dkat kwn2 tamhidi n maahad....

lepas habis tamhidi. alia seolah2 xde kwan. haha. 

kelakar. xde kawan.

ha'aahh..alia x contact balik. why ?

sbb............

segan. 

alia paling takot nk tegur org..nak2 bila org reply acuh x acuh..

rase cam mengganggu je..

tp alia x kesah diganggu..

mengganggu tuu menakotkan alia..

takot org benci alia kacau2 dorang.

even hati nie rindu sgt nak mcm dlu...

apekan daya. 

pendamkan saja.

semoga kau bahagia sentiasa sahabat.

even alia x tau ape jadi dkat korang,

korang sentisa diingatan..

hah!

kalau alia tahan rindu, alia tengok gambar,

bace balik msj2 yg tersimpan,

stalk fb,

mengimbau kenangan. ^^

well, alia kesiankan diri sendiri. hahha

mcm org x keruan je :)

i just miss u guys.

rase sunyii je..

xapelah, alia jadi pemerhati tetap korang. 

cuba nak tahu ape yg korang buat cuti2 nie,

ape yg jadi dkat korang,

nk tggu korang citew mmg x lah kan ??

:)

anyway, just hoping the best for u guys.

love~alya

p/s : if and only if ade kawan2 alia bace post nie, tolong msj please time korang free... rindu sgt nie. 

something

Bismillahh...

assalamualaikum. 

hallo walaweih.. :D

just saying hi to my dear dear dear blog..

it had been so long,

i havent write at this blog..

well, bz sayang. next week is the last week

for me to be here, beloved KKNC.

:D 

proud to be here. (but not U....M.)

well, i still wonder what is my destiny after this.

i've let my dream gone.

now, i've to make a back up plan..

but then, it just my plan, not Allah.

Allah's better.

hmm...wonder wonder wonder.

who knows that i;ll be there.

who knows i;ll be a pharmacist, or scientist or a programmer ??

or, a wife for a very very rich man ??
who knows right ???

hahhahaha,

(day dreaming ??)

and who knows i'd never experience those thing...

aaaaaaaaaaaa........

what i'm talking about ???

actually, i want to write sth bout myself. 

but, i'm not ready.

 quite scared to share that thing. 

maybe i shouldnt.

huh...tell to my beloved diary lahhh.....

(tetibe rindu dkat dia nie :D)

well, my post for this time is just a rubbish. :D

sorry for that. 

~alya~

little heart cries

bismilllah

Assalamualaikum.

this day, i cried in front of kak umi :)

actually, i never speak while crying but today, i did it.

why i was crying ???

for lots of reasons. plethora of reasons :)

for real, i'm quite stress this days...

lots of assignments, lots of problems with house-mates, classmates, discussion-mates, studies.

this little heart also contributed reasons for me to cry. 

well, the truth, it's has been so long i havent cry and really, it give a better heart, a clearer view towards my problems...

i've read somebody wrote that,

if u have problems, tell this to ur problems..

"hey problem !!! u think u are big enough to tease me ??

i have Allah that much much much bigger than u ! He can help me to solve u."


well, to say such that thing needs a lot of strength
  ah, i know, i just need to walk through it..no need to stop and saying hi to it...

if i did, a bigger problem will come and saying hi to me, right ??

(missing someone actually)

(but i do feel like that)

(i wish i could this thing to others)

(if there's problem, there's also solution. if we couldnt find it, then ask Allah)

(life is colourful :) and problems are a colour of life)

huh ! that's all from me for this time. well, i just saying that i've problem. how bad i am, just thinking about my problems, but forgot that everybody's has their own problem too....

~Alya~

errrkkkk

bismillah..

assalamualaikum.

just want to share, esok ade role play BI. :)

kena berlakon bagai. 

for this time, there'll be 4 scenes, 

and ,

one of the scene, i'll be the bride .

ohhh ?? bride ??? 

hahahhaha.

annoying actually ! :)

well, waiting for tomorrow :)

daa. ciao rio. :0

stress

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum.

this week, sangat2 sibuk dengan folio...itu lah, madam bg awal2 x nak buat.. bila last2 minutes, mula laa x tdo malam.. hahaha.

xpe...that's not the main story here...

actually this week, i got the result for chemistry's paper. then, when i looked to the score i got, OMG !!! what i've done ???? 

actually, i answered this paper confidently. 

i even hope i got a good score on this paper...but actually i dont !

so, how can i imagine a 'good' score for the paper that i couldnt answer it very well ?? expecially FIZIK !!!!

how can i do that ??

oh Allah, what i've learnt these days ???

i lost the opportunity to medic, then i lost the opportunity to the pharmacy as well ???

what should i do next ??

hey hey atilia !! it just midsem !!! i u can stay up just for folio, then why dont u stay up for final ??? u still have lots of chances !!!!

btw, i just checked for the scholarship...and i found that, lots of scholarship just for engineering,, geoscience n etc. nad for sure they are not my interest n my parents wouldnt allow me. 

just, i'm planning to change my Uni. i'm not comfortable to be here. huh ! maybe, my rizq is here n maybe not...i'm not sure where's my future heading... help me... !!!!!!

at the time like this, i think, i need someone to be share with...i need the opinion..i need the encouragement.. i've to be strong !!!!

just for 2 months !!!

 

*ok, english aku berterabur. just, i want to try to speak in english in public. that's all.
  if there's mistake, feel free to correct me.

:)

luahan hati :)

~ alya~

Pergi Selamanya

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

3/1/2014 : 1.21 pm , Jumaat pertama 2014,
sambil2 tunggu workshop chemistry start,

a message arrived :

us baharuddin masuk ICU, doctor cakap, 

beliau dah xde harapan,

 mari laa same2 kite berdoa. 

Allah Akbar !!

 mase dapat msj nie, 2-3 kali alia bace. x percaya. biar betul..ust bahar badati tuu ke ????

then i replied, 

biar betul ???

ust sakit ape ??

she replied :

pembuluh darah di belakang otak ust pecah. 

Allah Allah. aku x percaya. namun. aku pujuk hati ku...insyAllah, xde pape lah....tp selepas dpt msj tuu, ku kirimkan sebanyak mungkin al-fatihah buatnye. semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusannya...

jujur, sedikit fokusku telah hilang. memikirkan keadaan ust. still, i couldnt believe it. 

then, 

5.45 pm :

 lepas workshop tuu habes, aku cek lagi msj, berharap ade khbar gembira.....

ok, 3 msj arrived : all of the contained just the same ,

Assalamualaikum, Al-Fatihah kepada arwah Ustaz Baharuddin yg baru saja meninggalkan dunia hari ini. semoga Allah menempatkan beliau dalam kalangan org yg soleh & menjadi ahli syurga.

Allah Allah. lagi laa rase nak nanges. alhamdulillah, masih dapat ditahan dari keluar.

bila dapat naek bas, aku bace balik msj2 yg aku dapat td. x dapat tahan, aku menanges dalam bas, sambil2 ku hadiahkan al-fatihah lagi dan lagi...

jam 4.41 pm, pada jumaat yang mulia
 sebutir permata mmp telah hilang. 

pergi buat selamanya, 

pergi menemui sang Khaliq,

pergi meninggalkan dunia yg fana,

pergi meninggalkan kami semua..

ust, 

gelak tawa ust,

senda gurau ust,

tunjuk ajar ust,

 x dapat kami lupakan..

dalam gurau ust, terselit mutiara mutiara ilmu,

Allah Allah.

walau ust x pernah mengajarku secara langsung,

namun. ust tetap ust ku.

pernah mengikuti pengajian tafsir surah yassin ketika muqarror usrah.

masih ku ingat, gaya ust sebut,

la' ya bunayya,
Allahu akbar.
kne muncungkan skit mulut bila sebut huruf ro dan tebal sikit bacaannya...
barulah maksudnya menjadi Allah yang maha Besar.

he is our usstaz, our murabbi, our mu'aalim.
 jasamu dikenang~

semoga ust damai di sana.
dan semoga Allah menempatkan mu di tempat yang soleh ,

Amin ya Rabbal 'alamin.

Allah is always with me.

Assalamuaalaikum...

Allahu rabbi...dah lame sgt x berblogging..rindu..tp xde mase nk update..lately, sgt bz ngn assignment, quiz, test, n ofcoz, final sem !!!

Allah..penat. tp, tetap kutabahkan hati untuk terus berada di medan jihad.

jihad menuntut ilmu.

saat aku rase tension sgt,

aku mencari-cari orang utk bantu aku..

aku mencari kawan utk aku pinjam bahunya demi menangis...

aku mencari kawan untuk ajarkan aku subjek yg paling aku xdapat nk catch up.

aku mencari kawan untuk teman aku belajar.

tapi akhirnye,

aku x jumpe kawan utk bantu aku...

aku x jumpe kawan utk ajarkan aku..

aku x jumpe kawan untuk teman aku belajar...

jadi...

aku menangis....

menangis mencari ketenangan....

rupenya aku lupa...

Allah nak aku bersamaNya....

Allah nk aku mengadu padaNya...
Allah nak uji iman aku..

Allah nk uji sejauh mane kebergantungan aku padaNya..

Ya Allah,
kami selalu alpa padaMu..

lalu Kau uji kami...supaya kami kembali padaMu..

jalan yang benar..

jalan yang Kau redhoi..

jalan orang2 mukmin..

jalan menuju syurga..

nk kne study utk final sbnrnya...

tp stress sgt...utk subjek laen ok je...

*insyaAllah*

tp fizik ??

i asked somebody to teach me...

but, seems he cant help me..

opss...he ??

ye laa... i cant think no one else to teach me physics..

but, i dont think we'll have any discussion session bcoz, today is already monday. 

and i've to go back to usim this thursday. tuesday n wedneday are hari raya day..

so, we have no time.

i asked to out today, but he said, he had to go somewhere else with his friend..so...

never mind...

i think, i can learn by myself...insyaAllah..

as long as, Allah with me. :D

well, today is arafah's day. we are courage to fasting. insyaAllah..:) 

well, time's already 12.11 am.

i think, i'd better go now...

study for a few mins...

n sleep to wake up earlier tomorrow. :D 

daa...

Assalamualaikum